Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
