those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
