I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
