i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize
