I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You need a sexual gate keeper
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
