I skipped work to stalk him.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
