Just fell off a train. Bad.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Randomize
