I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
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