I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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