I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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