If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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