i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Vodka?
Forever.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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