So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
