so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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