Just fell off a train. Bad.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
