forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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