in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
Randomize
