theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
