I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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