guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
4 words: hood of his car
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize
