found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Boobs are out for the taking
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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