The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
So how'd the job interview go?
well turns out the guy interviewing me was a regular at the strip club where i used to work. Talk about awkward
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
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