my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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