whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Randomize
