I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
Randomize
