that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
