Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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