Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Randomize
