mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
Randomize
