in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Randomize
