How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
