i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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