Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
