how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i wish my penis had a tongue
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
True strength comes from lack of pants
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
