What did we do last night that was yellow?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
