she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
i believe in u and ur pee
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
