I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
There's even glitter on my cock...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
