i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
