GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Randomize
