My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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