i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
