R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
