Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
