Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
