I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Randomize