Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
