id be glad to
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
