How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
