Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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