I wish i was in the wii world.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
