who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
