I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize