When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Randomize
