I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
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