Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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