just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
