i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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