He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
